My Dragon Scroll

I am now starting book two of my script "Hating-Gabi."

Book one is sub-titled as "Ang Pagtitipon" and book two will have the sub-title "Ang Alamat ng Pitong Agimat."

The very first thing that a writer sees before writing is a blank page. And sometimes this blank page can stay as a blank page for days, weeks and even months or years. We'll call that phenomenon as "writer's block". That's the reason why I'm here right now 'cause I have switched to another blank page. However, this blank page doesn't have the same curse as that other page.

Staring at that blank page earlier, I can't help but remember the movie "Kung Fu Panda" which stars the voice of Jack Black. I like Jack Black, specially in "Nacho Libre." I first saw black in a small role in the 90's with David Duchovny (who's been in rehab for being a sex addict) and Gillian in the successful sci-fi TV series 'X-Files.'
Kung Fu Panda is about Po, a clumsy, fat, son of a noodle maker Panda (Jack Black) who wants to learn Kung Fu and then becomes a master (dragon warrior) in the end. Actually, he just wants to be somebody else and dreamt of becoming more than just the son of a noodle maker.

In one of the scenes, Po finally got the chance to take a look at the legendary dragon scroll which was thought to possess great truth and power that only the 'dragon warrior' is righteous enough to possess. As Po opened the scroll all that he saw was.. (guess what) - a shiny golden blank page.

He trained so hard to have the right to possess the scroll and what he got was just a shiny blank page.

But then, in the course of the movie, Po suddenly realized the importance of the scroll. This was when his noodle maker father shared to him the secret ingredient of his secret ingredient soup. "The secret ingredient to my secret ingredient soup is..." His father told him. "nothing." - Because there is no secret to the secret ingredient soup. "You just have to believe it's special to make it special" His father added.

The blank shiny page of the scroll reflects the face of Po. Because there is no secret ingredient - there is just you. And you just have to believe in yourself.
Staring at that blank page earlier made me stop and take a backseat in my life. To pause and reflect on everything that has happened in my life. My triumphs and my frustrations.

And this is when I realized that I am right now experiencing that same writer's block but in a larger scale. Not only, in doing my 'book two' script but also in my career as a writer, a father, a friend, a husband, in everything. I was staring at a blank page and receiving no form of inspiration and in fact, I fear that blank page. I fear the frustration of writing and making mistakes. I fear the idea of making a false start. I fear the mysterious outcome of that blank page. I fear that I am not capable.

I fear the future. I did not believe.

But now, I do. I have to.

What we believe we become - I have been teaching this to kids in seminars and now I'm embarrassed to say that I have not become a disciple of my own teaching.

But it's not over yet. I am going to write that script. I am going to get it published. I am going to drive myself to get to my dreams. And I am going to be what I envisioned myself to be.

I am going to take a look at my dragon scroll every day of my entire life and keep looking because there is no secret ingredient, no special magic power. - It's just me, my dreams and my belief. I am going to make it right.

I am not the dragon warrior... YET!