Friday, October 2, 2015

I Choose To Be Happy

"True happiness is found within, sometimes you have to dig deep inside to find it but it is definitely not found on the outside."

You can search and search the whole world to find it but you wont.

What inspired me to share this thought was a recent blog from a good friend of mine. Actually, I tried to drop a comment on her blog but I wasn't able to because I missed a field and all the things that I wrote there got erased. Hope she reads this, 'cause this will be like a very long blog comment on her post.

The blog was titled "I'll be alright" and there is one line there that says, "How can I be happy when the people that matters to me are not happy for me" - or something like that.

So, I thought for a second and with the Linkin Park song "numb" playing at the back of my head I began to wonder how we humans often based our happiness on what others feel or say about us.

I am 'Guilty as Charged' on several occasions.

So I guess it is human nature. But on the other hand, maybe, most of us do not fully understand the concept of happiness.
"True happiness is found within, sometimes you have to dig deep inside to find it but it is definitely not found on the outside."
People are happy when they are in love right? And when people are asked "who makes them happy" they quickly reply with the names of their loved ones. (their spouse, a girlfriend or boyfriend, parents, best friend, siblings, children, or even their dogs or cats)
You can quickly answer the who, what, where, when questions of happiness and even the how. But how about the WHY?

Why are you happy?

You are happy.. not because a person makes you happy but because you chose to feel 'happiness' when that person is around you. So, regardless of what he or she does for you, you will always be happy with that person because you chose to.

You are happy.. not because your job makes you happy but because you chose to feel 'happiness' with the job you have right now. So even if it is, according to survey, a job that is very least liked by a lot of people, you will still be at your best and have a positive outlook on it because you chose to.
People, Jobs, Gifts makes you smile or drool or shout with ecstasy but it doesn't really mean that you are happy.

There are people who have almost everything - fame, fortune, success, etc., but still they are very much unhappy and there are people who have almost nothing but still they are happy, hopeful and thankful.

What's the catch?
There's no catch. It's just you and the way you see things inside and around you that determines your state of happiness. Here are some of the basic things I've come across that might help us condition ourselves to be happy despite of...
  • Learn to Appreciate. Appreciate people, the simplest things, the ordinary but meaningful, the goodness in everyone, the lessons learned from disasters and failures and in the effort of everyone.
  • Learn to Understand. Understand people and things as they are and not how you thought they or it should be. Understand that there are things you can control or influence and things that you cannot.
  • Learn to be Contented. Contented but not in mediocrity. Believe that Excellence is to humans and Perfection is to God. Believe that not everything that you wish for and willed to will be yours and will go your way and that whatever results there may have been to your effort is all but a rewarding and learning experience.
  • Learn to look Forward and not Backward. Forward is goal setting. Forward is doing things for a 'bigger than life' purpose. Forward is learning from the past but not letting yourself be haunted by it. Forward is seeing things on a positive outlook - it's seeing how closer you are to the goal. Forward is forgiving.
  • Learn to look Inward and not Outward or Sideways. It is seeing yourself for who you really are. What you are capable of, and the beauty and strength that is uniquely yours. Inward is not looking for approval or appreciation or recognition. It is the development of self-worth and pride regardless of what others may say. Inward is not comparing oneself to other people. We are all unique beings that is why we are called individuals. Those who succeed in influencing others whether in fashion, business, arts, sports or leadership are those people who are truly in touch with their own unique qualities.
  • Learn to say 'Thank You.' One great way to be happy is to acknowledge the things you are blessed with every single day. (a great weather, a nice talk with an old friend, a small note that is gibberish but was written by your 4 year old child) Things that matter. Things that are dear. Just say 'Thank you.'
One final note: Being happy requires oneself to be prepared to accept happiness. True Happiness will reside in ones heart when it is ready. When the heart is empty of all the bitterness and the impurities.

When you choose to be happy, you will be happy.

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